Year in Review 2025

Heyo from Puerto Escondido! 🌞

Every year on my birthday, I reflect on my highs, lows, and everything in between. (Past editions: 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2020, 2019, 2018, 2017, 2016, 2015).

This tradition is an amazing way to reflect and appreciate how far I've come. I changed this edition to cover everything I’ve learned in my 20s. 

You can just do things

My 20s were amazing because I rejected the default path and followed my heart. 

I dropped out of uni to intern at startups. I wrote two books before I could legally drink alcohol. I traveled and worked remotely way before COVID. I quit my job to study chess full-time. I moved to Canada with zero friends or family. I quit my next job to train Bachata full-time. I moved to Mexico. I learned Spanish from zero. I started an online video dance business with zero video skills. 

At the same time, I’ve been broke twice. I got kicked out of Canada because my PR never got approved. I’ve lost more chess games than I’ve played. I’ve embarrassed myself every day speaking Spanish in Mexico. My first 3 years of learning Bachata were a huge waste of time. My first course videos were complete shit.

But my dumbass figured it out. 

You probably can too. 

Your 20s are the perfect time to be reckless because you have nothing to lose, only infinite upside. 

Oh you’re scared of rejection, failure, shame, or embarrassment?

That’s part of life. To do anything great, you WILL stumble and fall and fail. 

It’s inevitable. Since you know this will already happen, you might as well do the thing.

Start small. Get help. Do it scared.

You won’t regret it.

Evolve or die (inside)

What you wanted at 22 might not be the same thing you want at 29. 

You outgrow your life, and that’s ok. 

This means you need to evolve with these changes, or accept living a misaligned life. 

The biggest mistake I see people make is sticking with the status quo way longer than they need to.

Staying in a bad relationship, job, friend group, or city far past the expiration date.

Don’t waste your prime years doing shit that’s no longer serving you. 

Go on a solo retreat

It’s hard to know how your preferences have changed when you’re in hustle mode. 

Take a solo retreat to reset.

What worked for me: one week in a remote beach town, no work, no friends, no screens, yoga 2x/day, journaling, quiet time in nature. 

Your mind is still running during the first few days. But eventually you rediscover yourself again.

You hear your voice for the first time in a while. You actually notice how your body feels. Thoughts come up to the surface that would never have happened in your daily life.

These moments are when the biggest breakthroughs happen. 

After this retreat, I decided it was time to go all-in on Bachata Library. This turned out to be the top 3 decisions of my 20s. 

If I didn’t take that sabbatical, I probably would have stayed longer in my day job and continued to die a little inside. 

Be your natural self

I always wanted to be like someone else. 

Genius like Bo Burnham. Entrepreneurial like Tim Ferriss. Goofy like Ben Schwartz. Confident like Conor McGregor. Stoic like Ryan Holiday.

But the people I looked up to weren’t trying to be like anyone else. 

They were just naturally themselves. And what comes naturally for them wasn’t natural to me.

I only wanted to be like them because I have a deep wound that being myself wasn't enough.

So I went through life putting on masks to feel worthy. This worked for a while but I reached a point where I wasn’t doing what I wanted. I was doing what I think [INSERT NAME] would do.

It’s exhausting to be someone you’re not. 

I learned the hard way that you are the best at being uniquely you. Instead of putting on a mask, I needed to embrace my unique qualities and AMPLIFY them.

You’ll attract people and opportunities who love you for you. And you’ll push away all the things that aren’t a good fit to begin with.

You’ll navigate the world with ease. You’re not trying so hard anymore, because being yourself is just natural. 

How do you get there? 

Gratitude. Therapy. Yoga. Breathwork. Even plant medicine. 

But more importantly, find friends who accept you for who you are.

You are enough.

Self-love isn’t what you think

It’s not looking into the mirror and repeating “I love you” to yourself.

It’s I’m not accepting an unpaid gig because my work has immense value. 

It’s I will only date someone who meets my standards because I am worthy of a great mate.

It’s setting boundaries when people try to take you away from your dreams or your peace. 

It’s giving your body nutritious, whole food to fuel your life instead of junk. 

It’s talking to yourself with kindness and compassion. It’s treating yourself with respect. It’s putting you first. It’s feeling secure and proud and aligned. 

The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself. Make your cup whole first, and you’ll have abundance to fill other people’s cups. 

Your chosen family

Life’s way too short to spend time with people you don’t vibe with. 

Cut them out of your life. Only hang out with friends who share your values. 

Friends who give you energy. Who light you up. Who supports you wholeheartedly. 

Invest in your friendships. Spend quality time. Celebrate their wins. Plan trips together. 

Offer a shoulder to cry on. Hugs, lots of them. Offer to sit with them in silence for as long as they need. 

Tell them you love them. Tell them how much they mean to you. 

If your nuclear family isn’t able to truly see and understand your gifts, your chosen family can.

Keep them close.

Trust your body

Your body is so much smarter than you think it is. 

I remember starting Muay Thai classes and feeling so drained. The coach told me just keep going to classes, it gets easier. A few days later, I got COVID and eventually long COVID which sidelined me for 6+ months.

I recently did Muay Thai again. Intense 90-min classes in the hot sun. I felt burnt out every class but the teachers said just keep coming to class, it gets easier. After doing it 5x/week for a month, I got FATTER in my “after” photo. And I felt 10x worse than when I first started.

I checked my bloodwork before and after (using Function Health, a service I freaking love). While some things improved, my heart biomarkers got worse. It turns out that pushing myself to my limit did not make me healthier or stronger.

Thanks David Goggins. 🤷

I switched to a normal gym to lift weights 3-4x/week and after 6 months, I was in amazing shape. I felt strong. I felt healthy. I felt happy. 

Only you know your body better than anyone else. And it doesn’t just apply to physical training.

I recently had a sigh of relief when a client didn’t sign our freelance contract. Oh, maybe I don’t actually want to do this specific work. 

I feel like running away before a hard conversation. Oh snap, I should look into why I'm so avoidant.

I get incredibly nervous and self-conscious when I see a gorgeous, wife-potential woman. Dam, I need to change this or else I won’t ever feel ready when the opportunity strikes. 

Lately I’ve been exploring somatic therapy to release stored trauma. The whole point of somatics is to rediscover the relationship with your body. 

Your body is trying to talk to you.

GET OUT OF THIS RELATIONSHIP. LEAN INTO THE DISCOMFORT. I’M ALWAYS DEHYDRATED, WHERE’S MY STANLEY?

Stop ignoring these signals. Listen more and get curious. 

Your body is smarter than you think.

Get hot

I used to think people who cared about their looks were shallow and narcissistic. 

I’m such a fucking idiot. 

Hot people live longer, have more sex, and get way more opportunities. 

If you could flip a switch to be instantly attractive, you’d be a fool not to click it.

Only in the last year have I given a shit about my fitness, fashion, and even hair. It has worked wonders for both my inner and outer confidence. 

Commit to something

I’m guilty of “optimizing” for the perfect place to live, dream partner, or the job that checks all my boxes. 

Having many options open sounds like a good thing, but it left me pretty miserable. 

After tinkering with side projects for years, I finally committed to quitting my day job and starting my own company. 

After casually dating for all my 20s, I’m ready to find a long-term partner and build our relationship together. 

After being nomadic for 4 years, I’m ready to put down roots in Portland. 

While you may think you’re giving up your options, there’s freedom in commitment. 

You can stop scanning what’s out there and focus on what’s in front of you.

Your purpose becomes clear. The benefits compound.

All that’s left is your decision.

Life’s a paradox

Travel more. But also find a home base. 

Date new people. But you need to commit to a wife/husband.

Enjoy your freedom. But starting a family is so meaningful. 

Follow your passion. But find a stable job with health insurance.

Plan your life. But be open to new opportunities that come your way.

You are enough just the way you are. But also strive to be the best version of yourself. 

Both things can be true. 

Live life in seasons

Hibernate in the winter. Be a social butterfly in the summer. 

Wake up when the sun rises. Wind down when the sun sets. 

Work for 3 years and take a 3-month break. 

Work 10-hour days M - Th and enjoy a long weekend.

We’re not designed to work strict 9-5s every day for 50 years. Or have a perfect work/life balance. 

Experiment for yourself and do whatever feels good.

Good things take time

Relationships, art, startups, fitness, self-actualization.

Stop trying to rush the process. That’s like telling a seed to hurry the fuck up and be a flower already. 

Water the seed. Give it sunlight. Whisper positive affirmations. Do this every day. 

Don’t track how many millimeters your flower is growing either. Just do what’s in your control.

Before you know it, you’re surrounded by a whole mother fucking garden.

THIS is the journey!

Wherever you are right now, this is it.

How you spend your days is how you spend your life. 

Your life doesn’t “start” after a certain age or place or milestone. This moment right now is your life. 

The “when X happens, then I’ll be happy” trap is alive and well. But can you be happy right now? 

Because if you don’t enjoy or find meaning in the day-to-day, what are you even doing?

Ignore all advice

Including everything you’ve just read.

Get inspired. Read other people’s work. Be curious about their stories.

But at the end of the day, only you know the best way to live your life.

Dirtbag rich

I really like Blake Boles’ life philosophy of being dirtbag rich.

• a high-freedom, low-income lifestyle
• fueled by purposeful, well-paid, part-time work
• filled with nature, movement, learning, creativity, community, and romance

I don’t want to climb the corporate ladder. I don’t care about playing status games. I don’t care about my legacy or impact on the world. 

I want to work on meaningful things, spend time with good people, and experience life. Plus help others live their best life. 

We're all going to die. Nothing matters. So might as well play the game you want to play, whatever that looks like.

Thanks for taking a moment out of your day to read about the last 10 years of my life. 

I’d love to know if any of these ideas resonated with you. DM me @mrtampham.